You know, I never thought I'd say this, but thank goodness Snooki is pregnant.
It likely means I don’t have to watch another season of this train-wreck.
This week, the Situation FINALLY gets to confront Jionni and tell him about Snooki's cheating ways, but despite the season-long buildup, the whole thing is just a big letdown.
Mike and Jionni are both up early, so Mike corners him and breaks the news that he and Snooki hooked up right before the gang's trip to Italy.
"However you want to take it from here, you take it and you act on it," he adds, clearly pushing Jionni to wake Snooki up and dump her on the spot.
But what does Jionni do instead?
He thanks the Sitch, shakes his hand and says nothing. Mike takes this as a sign that Jionni doesn't care about Snooki, but in reality, Jionni goes back to bed and tells Nicole how hilarious it is that Mike told him such a stupid lie.
'I'm not going to deal with this right now," says a groggy Snooks, adding that Mike is just trying to get a rise out of Jionni.
Jionni agrees, admits he doesn't care, and goes back to bed.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is the extent of "Jersey Shore" drama these days. It's almost as if these people are acting calmly and rationally. It's eerie.
But at least there's still some fight left in old Snooks. When she sees Mike later that morning, she tells him they're never going to be friends again and starts screaming and cursing at him while a diminutive Jionni quietly begs her to shut up.
After Snooki has cooled down, she and Jionni go out for a romantic couple's day out.
"I want to be with you forever," she purrs. "If you can handle me forever."
And that's when we find out Snooki is really a powerful psychic .
"Me and Jionni are getting married, I feel, when he proposes," she says in confessional. "And I don't know when that is, but he'd better do it … within the future."
Wow. Just wow. It's exactly like going to a boardwalk psychic - just vague enough to potentially happen, and kinda, sorta, but not really logical. Sigh.
During Sunday dinner, Snooki decides that the whole gang should go camping that Wednesday, despite the fact that they all agree that "guidos don't camp."
Everyone except Pauly and Vinny agree this sounds like a fun idea - and to celebrate their new plans, they start a food fight. After Pauly dives on his "freshies" (sneakers) to save them from flying food, everyone sort of abandons the fight - except for Snooki and Mike. In fact, it's gotten quite personal between them as they chase each other around the house hurling condiments, milk, and anything else they can get their hands on.
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